Start from where you are and move towards being able to land in a new city where you know no one and have a social circle and a date in under a month.

This the “teach a man to fish" version of making friends, being active and (eventually) dating.

Making Friends

Most people form their social circle in the structured environment of school. It works for many because it combines

- recurring frequent contact with the same people and a
- common challenge - the school work

As adults, we have to create this structure ourselves. It doesn't guarantee friendships will form, but it creates the environment where it's more likely.

Being active socially

Positive social interactions, even with strangers or light acquaintances, has a grounding reassuring quality to it. Even a smile or acknowledgement makes the difference between feeling excluded and left to decay vs welcomed and a part of society.

Like it or not, you are part of a species that for generations after generations survived through cooperation and protection of a group and died through isolation and exclusion.

From emotional health to social opportunities, participating in the flow of social life is a stabilizer and multiplier for everything from friendship to dating.

Dating

Dating is a high stakes high reward social experience. A big mistake many people make is expecting it to be easy or gentle.

Without a support network or regular positive social interaction elsewhere in your life, rejection can accrue into the feeling of exclusion and isolation from what is marketed as a core experience of social life.

You don't have to be social superhero in order to date, but you do need to be attractive enough to draw people in and resilient enough to letting them let you go.

Thankfully, attractiveness is not just looks - it has a significant social component. The same person with friends and ease engaging with the room is more attractive than someone standing in the corner alone.

You can date, just know what you're getting yourself into and be prepared for it.

Development

It's ok to not have some of these parts. You can develop them. We're here to provide the blueprint and support to do so.